What MY ‘family rules’ sign would say

They’re EVERYwhere: those ‘family rules’ signs that people hang in their homes. They’re totally adorable and full of inspirational family ‘rules’ for a happy home. You’ll see them gracing the Pottery Barn catalog and in every Etsy shop imaginable. They look something like this:

no, this would not work

i’d need just a few slight moderations

They’re super cute. And nice. I’d like one for my house. But I’ve realized that mine would need to be slightly more realistic because I’ve got a full-time job, kids and pets, and sometimes I lose my temper, and there’s usually a blender piece in the sink waiting for someone (me, always me) to clean it out that’s going to frustrate me later, and I’m just not that perfect. Here’s what mine would read:

  • I’ll try not to Yell At You when we have 3 minutes to get out the door to catch the school bus and your homework isn’t done and I can’t find my keys
  • Enjoy Mealtime. And yes, sometimes Nutella toast is a perfectly balanced dinner option
  • Go Outside and Play. And by that, I don’t mean play a video game about being outdoors
  • Find your overdue library books By Yourself (they are probably still in the car from when we checked them out 6 weeks ago)
  • Look at Each Other. Put the phone down. Stop texting so much. This goes for Mom, too.
  • Make Time For Each Other, unless you want to play with monster trucks again, in which case, Have Lots Of Fun Playing Trucks By Yourself While I Read My Awesome Book 
  • I don’t want to do your laundry anymore but I do, so please Hug Me Often 
  • Kiss Each Other unless one of you just ate tuna fish
  • You don’t need this sign to know that I Love You, because you’ll hear it from me all the time
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